Proposals for a teeny-weeny itsy-bitsy area of semi-regulated fishing activity hit the buffers yesterday when the members of the Saving Welsh Seas for Fishermen Committee (SWSFC) met to demonstrate to the public that they can say no sometimes (albeit only to conservation measures).

Seven of the twelve members of the Committee stated interests in that they were already on record as saying that "the byelaw would only go ahead over their dead bodies". They were assured by the Chair that this could not possibly affect their impartiality and were begged to stay.

There was an interesting presentation from the SWWSFC Ltd (Stop Wildlife Wanting Somewhere For Conservation) in which conclusive proof was presented that dropping a 40kg lobster pot on a Ross coral increased the population from one to several hundred (admittedly small and not completely attached to the seabed) corals.

Claims that NTZs around the world had shown positive effects for both conservation and fishing were refuted, citing Prof Flawed Hypothesis who was on record as having once been to a NTZ in New Zealand when he couldn't find a prickly squirt star pipefish that a man in the pub said was there.

MNR potting statistics were dismissed as lies as it was well known that all MNR staff are hydrophobic and never go out in boats.

A counter-proposal was put forward by the association for smaller areas for research. Fishermen had agreed to voluntarily leave these alone. One of these is the bicycle hut of Newt own Town Council and the other is an area of felt roof on the outside toilet of the National Assembly building in Cardiff. In exchange for this generous offer CCW would have to agree to a shoot-to-kill policy for any person other than a fisherman entering the MNR and open season on divers anywhere in Welsh waters.

With CCW representatives mute with admiration for the presentation it remained only for other fisheries interests to weigh in with considered comments concerning the paternity and personal habits of anyone unreasonable enough to demand that a whole 0.28% of the SWSFC sea area be closed to fishing.

The Committee (those of whom were still awake/alive) proceeded to a vote 7 to 5 against doing anything at all.

The Committee also gave itself a vote of thanks for bothering to turn up and retired to replace hearing-aid batteries and go to the toilet before going home.